When I started this blog, I had many ideas as to what posts I wanted to do. I have a lot of thoughts and was getting excited thinking about all of the possibilities of what I could write about here. However, I had a hard time figuring out what I wanted my first post to be. Then it hit me: what better way to start than by sharing my background and the story of my faith journey.

This post will walk through four areas of life: childhood, high school, college, and current. I am hoping that as you read through this, this will help inspire you a bit and this may resonate with some of you who are reading this.

Childhood

Growing up, I was raised going to a Catholic church (in which I still do today). I was baptized as a baby and received my First Communion when I was in 2nd grade. We would do CCD classes during the summer growing up at church, and during the school year, I went through Religious Education classes up until I was in around 4th grade. My parents weren’t as big of fans of the program and, growing up with three other siblings, we were all involved in a lot of activities, so we began to prioritize those and my faith and belief in Christ just became a look in the rearview mirror.

High School

I started high school just like a typical teenager: wanting to fit in and do as many activities as possible. I was involved in baseball and business clubs and cross country and marching band and I tried to fit my schedule with as many things to do. While I made a lot of connections and a lot of friends during this time, I felt like I still stood out among people and didn’t really fit in with any of the groups I was around.

As I mentioned before, I was involved in marching band throughout my entire time in high school (I played the saxophone). I had my friends with people in my instrument section, as well as many outside of it. One day, one of my friends reached out to me and asked if I wanted to join him at something called the SWYM Olympics (pronounced ‘swim’) at his church. I was excited to go, however, I had no idea what this was. I honestly thought we were going to go to a nearby pool. That was not the case though, and what I went to ended up changing the rest of my life.

This event I went to was a gathering for his youth group. SWYM stands for “St. Walter’s Youth Ministry”, and the night was filled with fun games and faith-filled activities. After leaving, I just knew that I had to go back. The next week, I attended one of their weekly gatherings, and I felt so welcomed from the get-go, but I can’t say I wasn’t nervous. With so many other things I was involved in, this felt like such a big commitment I was making, so I was hesitant on coming back the more I kept thinking about it. However, I knew I had to keep going. I don’t know why or how I knew, but I just knew that I did. That’s exactly what happened, and I before I know, I was giving a talk at our retreat.

During this time, something tragic happened that tested my faith a bit: my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. I remember being so mad when this happened, and I had no idea how to react. The only thing I remember during that time was feeling so much rage inside of me. How could this happen, and how could someone as loving as my mom have this illness? There was so much uncertainty and so much fighting that we had to do. Despite her feeling scared and nervous about all of this, she said something that stuck with me so much I wrote it down and carried it with me everywhere I went. It was so simple: everything happens for a reason. Everything DOES happen for a reason, even if we don’t know the answer, and it wasn’t until I started to get closer to Jesus that I was able to add more thought into this and align it with God’s plans. The more her treatments went on, the more I clung to this idea that everything happens for a reason, and while her cancer was being eradicated, my faith was growing.

With my faith as strong as ever, I was invited to go on my first ever mission trip in Minneapolis, Minnesota at the Catholic Heart Work Camp. I was ECSTATIC, as I felt as this was the first declaration of my faith, and it was a way for me to truly dive deeper into my faith. The week long trip ended up being one of the best weeks of my life, filled with song, joy, love, tears, faith, companionship, you name it. I felt at home, and I felt as though I didn’t want to leave.

As I was gearing up the end of high school, I was faced with many decisions about what the rest of my life was going to look like. I had already known what I want to major in when I go off to college, but the big question was where. I had narrowed it down to three different schools, and it was a big decision, one that I kept going back and forth on because some of them were out of state. And then, in March of my senior year of high school…COVID. All of my plans that I had made just got derailed. I was left in utter confusion about what my next steps would be.

College!… and COVID

With COVID tearing the plans for the next few years of life to shreds, I felt lost and almost isolated during this time, as I am sure many of you reading this felt as well. With me just graduating high school, I had to make a sharp pivot towards what college to go to, and I decided to go through the Community College route. Navigating this at first was so hard, and it was not at all what I had thought my life would be like for the unforeseen future. I really did feel lost, but I was so good at hiding it that nobody knew anything was really wrong with me, and it was one of the first times in my life I had felt an urge to cry without anything happening, other than the feeling of loneliness. However, this was the point in my life where my story took a change, and Jesus had truly found me. I didn’t have a big revelation or an eye opening dream, but for the first time in a long time, I had felt peace.

This next story might be one that, if I can pinpoint a specific moment in my life that truly strengthened my faith and made it strong, it would be this one. One Saturday morning in September of 2020, my family and I had gotten home from a funeral and began doing typical weekend tasks: cleaning, lounging, laundry, etc. My brother and I were both standing in my room at the time while I was doing laundry, when all of a sudden my dad gets a call saying that my aunt and uncle had gotten into a bad car accident and both were in two separate hospitals. We were unsure how bad it was at the time, but we soon resumed our tasks but all of us had it in my mind. About 45 minutes pass and I all of a sudden hear a cry, almost a scream, coming from my parents’ room, and my mom was on the floor. My aunt had passed. My uncle was going to be okay, but my aunt did not make it. In that moment, I didn’t know what to do but console my crying mom, and isolate in a random corner with nothing but a rosary in my hand. Not even praying, but just sitting there holding it.

After a bit, I mustered up the strength to play some music, but I kept replaying the same song over and over: Word of God Speak by MercyMe. It was a song that spoke to me, one where it related to what I was going through. If you don’t know, the lyrics in the first verse go:

“I’m finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it’s okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say”

When faced with tragedy, I’m sure this is how most people feel. We don’t necessarily want to be heard, we just want answers, and boy is that how I felt. After my anger, grief, and sadness subsided, God reminded me of the words that spoke to me when my mom was going through her cancer treatments-that everything happens for a reason. This moment started bringing my family closer and closer together, and it made me cling to Jesus harder and harder.

After months of growing deeper into my faith, I received a message from the Deacon at my church asking if I was interested in making my confirmation. For those who do not know what this is, it’s a way to deepen your relationship with God and the gifts of the Holy Spirit (wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, and fear of the Lord) are strengthened. The process of this involves a lot of learning, and learning about why it is that we are Christians. Typically, this sacrament occurs when you go through Religious Education and is made when you are in 8th grade. However, that was not the case with me, and this was my opportunity to finally do it a the age of 21. The whole process of this very much deepened my relationship with Jesus.

As I wrapped my time at community college with receiving my Associate’s degree, it was time to start looking at schools to transfer to for my Bachelor’s degree. I had narrowed it down to two schools: Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana (a 4-5 hour drive from home) or Bradley University in Peoria, IL (about a 2 1/2 hour drive from home). After much praying and going through every option, God led me to go to Bradley University.

As I was moving in and settling into the new environment, I was both confident and INCREDIBLY nervous. It felt like I was starting a whole new life, and in some cases, I was. I had a few different clubs and organizations picked out that I wanted to go to, but what really caught my eye was something called the “Catholic Braves”, which was the group of students on campus who regularly get together at the Catholic Church on campus. I learned that every Sunday night, there was a student mass, which was then followed by a Sunday night social right next door at the ministry center. I had joined Bible studies through this group, went on a two night retreat, and even had the opportunity to lead a small group. However, the biggest blessing I could have ever asked for during my time at school, and my biggest answered prayer, was my lovely girlfriend.

When we met, I was going through a period of real loneliness. I had felt very isolated from a lot of people and just felt like every interaction I had with people around me had an emptiness to it. Then one day, she came along. She came into my life and I prayed each and every night for her. She treated me with so much love and compassion, and has not only taught me how to love, but every day leads me closer to the Lord. She is proof to me that God is real, and since we’ve been together, my trust and faith in Jesus has only grown. As my time at school started coming to a close, we both knew that it was more and more important to cling to Jesus tightly, no matter what because we knew that things were going to be different once we graduate.

Where I am Today

Since graduating college, I feel like my faith and relationship in Jesus grows more and more each every day. I have been tested and tried and through all of this have cried (yes, I meant to rhyme), but with every day, it may not get easier, but I get stronger and, as it says in Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. There are days that are hard, and days were attacks come, but each moment and every day is another day for me to lean more and more on the power of Jesus. It’s been a period in my life with so much change, but growth as well. No matter how hard it gets though, I will never give up on the Lord because I know that He will never give up on me.

Thank you all for reading this. I know it’s long, but I hope it inspired at least one of you reading it. As I develop this blog more, this will be a journey for all of us to go on together where we all can learn and grow deeper in our relationship with Jesus. Remember, it’s a walk with God, not a run. God is good, Jesus loves you, and the Holy Spirit lives within you.